9 Things Harder Than The Leaving Cert
Exam season is here and if you’re one of the lucky gifted ones who tackles exams like Deadpool tackles witty puns, then good for you! For those out there who look at exams and see nothing but an inescapable void of darkness, deeper and scarier than a manhole in Silent Hill welcome to my side!
It’s been over ten years since I tackled the beast known as L.C. and you couldn’t bribe me with enough gold to tackle it again but I would like to remind you that it’s only as scary and intimidating as you let it be!
Chances are you’ve already faced tougher challenges than it and if you’ve faced any or even all of these challenges before then the next few weeks are going to be a lot more manageable than you first thought! Trust me!
Beating Safer∙Sephiroth
It took me MONTHS! Months! To beat this [insert expletive of your choosing here]! If you’ve beaten the final boss of Final Fantasy VII not only do I take my hat off to you, I’d like to remind you that his guy was one of those legendary battles to a generation of gamers! Defeating him is no easy feat, it requires strong characters, well planned out strategy and a tonne of luck! Beat him? Then you can beat the Leaving Cert.
Rainbow Road
I have Rainbow Road PTSD! Every incarnation of this colourful stage of death is worse than it’s predecessor! Abandon all hope all ye who place your kart on the those flashing rainbow tiles! If you actualyl enjoy these stages then I’m sure of two things, you’ll race through the Leaving Cert and you’re a sadist!
Cosplay
Oh yeah that’s on here! Whether you’ve bought it and dealt with the hassle of customs, long-haul delivery and botched measurements or you’ve pricked, burnt and glued yourself to within an inch of insanity, cosplay is an ordeal and a half! I envy those who pull it off with ease, do that and you’ll have no problems with these exams.
Sorting Your Collection
Toughest thing on the list? Some might say! Spring is over but your mountain of a collection is now an entire mountain range stretched across shelves, plastered on walls, locked away in safe boxes or displayed proudly in cabinets. Either way it looks amazing and it’s going to need to be cleaned every couple of weeks! That’s fine, it’s an enjoyable task! Have you ever been faced with the dilemma of binning/saving your beloved collection? If you can face into that then you’ll make trash out of the L.C.
Dungeon Crawling
This and the next one go hand in hand! Whether you’re table top hopping through murky dungeons or exploring forgotten ruins online! Dungeon crawling is a fun experience filled with danger, peril and monsters all set to devour your character. It takes skill, brains and a cool temper to clear a dungeon, if you’ve done it then you’ll conquer any higher level subject!
Leveling Grinding
This is a hell of a lot like actual study! You have to bash away at it until you’ve reached the right level for your character to take on the boss. By a character I mean knowledge and boss I of course mean exam!
Beating Bastion Players
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TObKF8RS62o
What’s you’re secret!? The Terminator doesn’t even have a patch on this monster machine! Sure he makes cute little bleeps and bloops but that’s all an act! He’s a psycho! If you can take down a Bastion player then you’ll one shot the next few weeks!
Dealing With The GM
Game Masters aren’t perfect! We’re an obstinate breed, our creativity is only matched by our arrogance and desires to squash player characters under our controlling thumb. If you’ve tabletopped with an evil GM then you can handle whatever Heaney, Pythagoras or Parnell throws at you in an exam question.
Summer Conventions
If you can handle the pressure of summer crowds, over eager convention attendees, tired and cranky guests, queues, more queues and did I mention queues? You’ve got this whole exam thing in the bag!
The next few weeks are stressful for a lot of people, your classmates, friends, family and teachers. Take a breather every now and again and just remember this is only a mere moment in your life. Regardless of the outcome, your study hours and plans, you have options and a tonne of potential!
Best of luck to all our readers, sitting their Leaving Certificate exams!
Editor-in-Chief, part-time super villain and hoarder of cats. If you can’t find me writing, I’m probably in the kitchen!
