Greek Gods, mythological creatures, superhuman abilities and an all star cast – what more could a movie ask for?
In the case of Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief…a lot more! Based on the best-selling children’s books by Rick Riodran, the movie adaptation is directed by Chris Columbus and stars among others, Pierce Brosnan, Uma Thurman and Sean Bean.
What’s it about?
Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman), is your average teenager, he lives with his mom and attends high school, trying to cope with his ADHD and dyslexia. On a school field trip to a Museum, the teenager is attacked by a teacher only to be rescued by his Latin teacher, Mr Brunner (Pierce Brosnan). Instructed to make his way to Camp Half Blood with his mother and best friend, Percy is made aware of what is really happening.
Someone has stolen Zeus’s lightning bolt and he is the main suspect, and has only 14 days to find the real thief and return the bolt to Zeus. After his mother is kidnapped by Hades, the God of Death offers a trade, the bolt for this mother, Percy undertakes a quest to find a way into the Underworld, rescue his mother and hopefully find the bolt along the way – alongside Annabeth, daughter of Athena and his best friend Grover, who is actually a Satyr, they venture forth on a quest that is riddled with peril, monsters and traitors.
Who is in it?
You will recognise a whole heap of faces in the move – Uma Thurman being the only one of them to offer a decent performance, plays Medusa, the Groan Queen, with a stare that can petrify you in heartbeat. Sean Bean plays the God of Skies, Zeus while Steve Coogan, (Alan Partridge) fits awkwardly into the role of Hades. Pierce Brosnan, plays the legendary trainer of heroes, Chiron and Melinda Kanakaredes (CSI NY) is Athena, Goddess of Wisdom.
What should I watch instead?
Lemony Snicketts: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Jason and the Argonauts
The Harry Potter Series
First three seasons of Xena
Is it really that bad?
Oh Gods yes!
The acting abilities of the three main characters, Percy, Annabeth and Grover are woeful (we feel bad saying that because they are young but how else are they going to learn) – there is about as much chemistry and interaction between the three friends as there is between three lumps of coal. Pierce Brosnan as a Centaur is quite a disturbing sight to behold and we’d sooner risk petrification at the hands of the Groan Queen then look at his half-man half-horse body.
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief works well as a children’s book but not as a movie – we got shivers of pure disgust when it was revealed that the entrance to Hades domain, the Underworld, is actually under the Hollywood sign, Medusa was defeated by staring into her reflection…seen on the back of…an IPod Touch?!
The film relies too much on its special effects and not enough on the original plot or atmosphere of the books, taking itself far too seriously. The movie feels more like a Harry Potter book turned Greek when in fact the Percy Jackson books barely even reminded us of Hogwarts.
The movie is enough to taint our fond memories of Greek Mythology and now rumours are circling of further sequels, following the series of the Percy Jackson books.
If you are a fan of all things mythological and fantastical then stay about 15 miles away from this movie!
