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Boss Rush: The Real World


You guys are used to us giving you the low down on all sorts of bosses from all sorts of games. But this week I want to introduce you to the real life bosses. These next few bosses are people who try their best to interrupt your game and at some points even take you away from your game. These bosses can be way more though to deal with than any video game bosses that you have ever come across. They require a lot of determination and stamina to overcome. Don’t be surprised if it takes years to finally nail the correct way to get past these horrid creatures!

The Parents

These demons are by far the worst in existence. They will do anything to stop you from having a good time and exploring till your heart’s content. They have been known to even hide consoles from you for days because you didn’t complete the previous quest of cleaning your room. These bosses are extremely hard to even face as it will always be a loosing battle. No matter what you say or do you are small and insignificant. They will always reign supreme no matter what you do. The only way around these pesky beasts is to simply listen and do whatever they tell you in order to progress further into your game. That or else slip down stairs once these demons enter their slumber phase. You will never truly tame these beasts in your lifetime but you can learn to live along side them and try your best to please them in return for some game play time. However if you get nothing in return then you need to step up your game and use your stealth skills to get some late night gaming in.

The Work Boss

portrait of shouting businessman on an isolated background


This next boss is extremely tricky! You don’t necessarily need him but he is incredibly valuable in terms of gaining more video games through money that he will give you monthly or if you are lucky weekly. However while in his presence you cannot play a game. If one is seen he may summon you and downgrade you or worse yet it could be game over! This is the type of boss you are better looking up to until he is gone. Once he is not in sight you are free to game as much as you like. The best tactic is usually to keep quiet and keep your head down and keep all gaming until you return to you hideout (home). However if you decided to game inside this bosses lair then it better be stealthy and quick. Remember also have an extra browser opened to cover up any signs of gaming. A good assassin always covers their tracks. There are some mythical stories about some of these bosses that actually play games alongside you every day in work and are more than happy for you to play along as well. I think they call them game developers…

The Child

These little demon children are the worst in my opinion they are constantly unpredictable and every single one seems to know your mam. When entering a game especially online these little pests will pop up all over the place. They will hurl abuse at you to try demean you and bring you too tears. Worst of all they will tell you all the different ways they had sex with your mother in order to get inside your head and drive you over the edge. These bosses are so incredibly unpredictable. They throw curve balls constantly without warning. One minute you are peacefully gaming the next you are in tears and can’t take no more. They slowly drain the life from you over time. Luckily there is a brilliant way to defeat all these bosses in one fell swoop, with the almighty mute button.

The Spouse

Now we finally come to the last real life boss, The Spouse! This boss is the trickiest as it is always around and always requires your attention and boy when it doesn’t get it because you are playing a game, all hell will break loose. This seemingly lovely person will grow horns and the room will go blood-red once the boss is angry. Your whole world will crumble to pieces the longer you leave it by itself. It is also capable of summoning other bosses such as The Parents to join in on your demise and inevitable doom. However there is a very simple trick to rid of this boss that is just as simple as an old school cheat and that one word is DIVORCE!