Deadpool hits cinemas today, riding on a wave of positive feedback from a slew of critics who caught it on early release. The self-professed merc with a mouth brings his off brand style of beatboxing during beatdowns and impassioned systemic crumbling of the fourth wall to the big screen. To say that the loudmouth mutant is “killin’ it” right now, would be an understatement to the projected revenue that the assassin is expected to earn for 20th Century Fox with this early 2016 blockbuster.
Speaking of killing, (being that it is his favourite activity) today on Comics 101, we offer you a host of familiar faces from a comic arc where Deadpool gets to do what he does best. A controversial storyline that saw a brainwashed Wade Wilson turning his attention towards the heroes of the world with an insatiable need to be the last among them. This is Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe.
THE FANTASTIC FOUR
You have to feel bad for the first family of heroics. They haven’t had a fair shake in comics over the past few years, nor in the cinematic world. Given that they are the first to be offed in this arc suggests an element of bitterness is still present regarding the movie rights being out of Marvel’s hands.
Rather unceremoniously they are each picked off with little fanfare aside from Susan (arguably the only one worth caring about anyways) who blows Wilson’s head clean off with a force field, before ultimately falling to his sword after his handy healing factor kicks in. We see the scattered remains of Ben Grimm along the ground with Reed Richards not far from him, gasping and panting during his last moments of life. Johnny gets a somewhat more graphic death from a swift strike of a blade to the throat, causing him to bleed out.
UATU THE WATCHER
This is a big one! Allegedly, The Watchers powers are said to be of “infinite potential”, yet one way or another he has wound up on this list. It stems from a little help courtesy of the now deceased Reed Richards. Mister Fantastic himself is well-known as one of the smartest minds in the Marvel universe and he traditionally sets his intelligence towards realms that science has never before explored. From the development of a compact weapon to combat Galactus came the destruction of Uatu. “The God Taser” as Wade referred to it, is a weapon that can neutralise cosmic entities. The final nail in the coffin came from the innate power, unique to Wade, of breaking the fourth wall. He was the only one who could possibly see The Watcher. A being difficult to find for any typical character in the Marvel Universe, then again, Wade was never typical.
A bromance broken to pieces. A well-known pairing that compliments each other due to their similar attire and penchant for quips. There is no quips exchanged here as an all out offensive is pulled out to stop the web-slinging wonder. Wade does point out after the death of Peter that the majority of his villain roster aren’t very intelligent given that they never considered a gun as an option. A bullet to the head fells the friendly neighbourhood wallcrawler.
Surprisingly enough, the earth’s mightiest avengers don’t illustrate any notions of being particularly bright in this comic arc. An emergency commune is held to talk about what to do with the growing problem of Wade Wilson’s murderous rampage.
A large chunk of the roster gets taken out relatively quickly with one unexpected explosion during their meeting. It takes out everyone, but Luke Cage and Thor. The battle is over before it even begins due to the planning done beforehand. Luke Cage had consumed miniaturized bombs planted in his coffee before the meeting began. Thor lets his arrogance get the best of him and finds his own weapon used against him. Mjolnir is enlarged by stolen Pym Particles, thus crushing the god of thunder underneath its overwhelming weight.
Deadpool doesn’t manage to kill The Hulk. He simply waits for The Hulk to become a mild-mannered scientist once again. Dispatched in a quick fashion after a long stint of brawling that leads to Banner re-emerging before being decapitated.
Torture is the name of the game for his former comrades in arms. A mysterious malfunctioning visor sees a spray of optic blasts emanating from Cyclops catching his comrades in the crossfire. An electrocution trap is the sentence for Rogue, Gambit and Colossus. Magneto and Kitty share a unique hell in part of chambers that are tailored to negate their powers, leaving them in a constant state of fear at what has happened to their fellow mutants. The worst death goes to the other known popular pairing that is commonplace in Deadpool stories. Wolverine vs Deadpool ends in a bittersweet reflection of the nature of physical wounds as opposed to emotional wounds. A particular blade that Wade acquired adds the final regards to Logan. The sword itself severs the healing factor from Wolverine’s body rendering him susceptible to death. A suitable finale for a warrior.
THE THREE TASKED WITH HIS DOWNFALL
Frank Castle (AKA The Punisher), Tony Masters (AKA The Taskmaster) and Steven Strange (AKA Doctor Strange). As you can imagine, it doesn’t go very well.
The Punisher hits hard using a plethora of his known brutal tactics against the mercenary. His tenacity isn’t a match for the ferocity displayed by an intently focused Wade Wilson. Frank Castle gets his head blown off.
The Sorcerer Supreme tries a different approach that only serves to incite rage. An understanding of his actions was never the problem. It was the idea that Deadpool was trapped in a world where he was not the master of his destiny. It was his writers. Strange gets a sword to the gut for his thoughts.
Taskmaster gives a formidable effort in comparison to others on the list, but as is the title of the comic arc, this was only going to end one way. In defeat, he is consumed by the creature known as Man Thing.
From this whopping kill count, you might believe that it was time for Wade to call it a day. Instead, he ends up warping reality and confronting the writers of the comic. Their deaths are implied and the comic finishes with a foreboding sense that Deadpool is coming for the reader of the comic.
A grim fate to be sure. That is all for this week folks. Stay safe! Watch out for sword wielding mercs. You never know when you might be seeing red.