Disclaimer: The Arcade and its associates do not hold themselves responsible for the opinions expressed below. Emma was like this when she got here. Landed. Crashed. Whatever, still not our fault.
I’ve got a confession….
Occasionally I watch really, really, criminally bad movies and I maybe enjoy them a little more than I should. I am in fact referring to movies so bad that most people would have to call my sanity into question. Luckily, most of the people I know doubt my sanity anyway, so I’m going to share a few of my favorite, bile inducing movies with you. Perhaps even attempt to explain why I love them. Though, in most cases I think I’ll have to just hold my hands up and plead guilty as charged.
Highlander 2: The Quickening
Yes, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. It doesn’t fit into the already established world we saw in the first. There is no reason for Ramirez to even be alive. I have no idea what’s happening in it most of the time I watch it. But yes, I secretly watch Highlander 2. Just like I watch Highlanders 1-5. And you know what?
I enjoy them all.
Most of the people I know refuse to even admit the existence of the sequel Highlander films. Instead they pretend that there was indeed ‘only one.’ I can’t ignore the truth, though. They made more of them! Don’t delude yourself. Stick on Queen’s Greatest Hits, grab that bottle of homemade 1920’s poitín that came with the house (and is hiding in the back of the liquor cabinet, like you thought no-one knew) and come join me. If you live life without regrets, you aren’t living.
George of the Jungle
Now this one I know is a terrible, terrible film. Everyone in it I’m sure realized this very early on in the production process, and as a result cast their hands (and contracts) into the air and probably went, “To hell with it!” The end result is a questionable, very reprehensible Tarzan spoof with actors camping it up to high heavens because well, in for a penny, right? But I laugh. I almost can’t help it. The jokes are juvenile, utterly stupid and paper-thin but I laugh anyway. And Brendan Frasier in a loincloth. Enough said.
Battlefield Earth
The world has been overrun with aliens after our gold. No, this was well before Cowboys and Aliens. Based on the novel of the same name, Battlefield Earth is a film about humanity’s last effort to shake free of their alien overlords. People hate this film for so many reasons. Some valid, others I’d fight them on. Overall, for me, this film is an under-appreciated gem and one of my favorite films of all-time. I happen to think John Travolta is fantastic in it. I like the story despite some of the aggravatingly overused tropes and I appreciate the ending. But sadly it seems when I mention this people usually end up sputtering coffee and tea everywhere.
Kull The Conqueror
KEVIN SORBO, I LOVE YOU!!
Ahem.
Yep, no excuses I’m afraid for this. I have nothing. Not a thing. Except Kevin Sorbo.
Wing Commander
Oh Saffron Burrows, how do you get yourself into these films? If you like sci-fi that actually doesn’t quite live up to its terrible reputation, I recommend Wing Commander. But unlike some of the films on this list I can actually give you reasons why I like it. For starters, methods of deep space communication. A lot of the time they record something on a physical device, pop some pilot in a ship and have them fly through a wormhole and deliver it by hand. None of your insta-message, magic, physics defying transmission stuff here.
It also touches upon the idea of Human’s evolving to live in space, which is kinda cool. That said the acting is pretty flat, script not too great, effects could be better and the casting is kinda questionable. Okay, so it’s bad. I’ll admit it. But I guess everyone has their guilty pleasures. And some things are just so bad they’re good.
And John Travolta. And Kevin Sorbo.
“Attention. This is Terl, your chief of security. Exterminate all man-animals at will, and happy hunting!”
What are your guilty pleasure films?
