As someone who had to watch the terrifying green ball of light ascend the stairs in Sleeping Beauty by peeking through my hands, I am and always have been a huge scaredy cat. Truly, to this day I can’t hear that eery music while Aurora is walking up the stairs bathed in green light without utterly freaking out.
It’s the same with jumpy horror movies; I was once forced to watch Saw and Hostel which subsequently prompted my fear of a puppet on a tricycle and getting my ankles cut. Needless to say, over the years I’ve learnt to say no to horror movies even if I end up with labels like ‘dry’ and ‘chicken shit’. I’m fine with being a chicken! I prefer watching fun, safe films at Halloween like Hocus Pocus, Hotel Transylvania and Casper the Friendly Ghost. And I know I can’t be the only one!
There are several stages of emotion you go through on Halloween if you’re a scaredy cat and, if you’re like me and you constantly get hit with the wrong end of the banter stick, then maybe you’ll relate to these gifs!
Determination
I’m not going to let anyone bully me into doing anything scary! No gory movies, no oujia board, no haunted house, no bobbing for apples in case I drown.
I’m just going to sit here with my cauldron full of euro store candy and watch Nightmare Before Christmas.
Fear
Okay, just pretend you didn’t see that jumpy advert for Paranormal Activity 5. It’s not real.
Ignore the tea burns on your hand from your momentary heart attack.
Oh god it’s another ad. Where’s the remote??
Even if I close my eyes I can still hear it! They shouldn’t be allowed to advertise horror movies before 3am!
Okay, the doorbell and the phone are ringing. That’s it, I’m building a fort in my bed and staying there until morning.
Frustration
Just because it’s Halloween doesn’t mean I should have to hitch my adrenaline up to 90 and guarantee sleepless nights for the next month because of a gory horror movie.
There’s no requirement to celebrate Halloween a certain way anyway. If I want to sit around all day dressed as Elsa singing ‘Wrecking Ball’ and watching The Notebook then I can!
Anger
Why are the trick or treaters wearing such terrifying costumes? Since when do 7 year olds dress as the girl from The Exorcist?? I’m not answering the door. Candy is all gone anyway.
Maybe if I turn out the lights the neighbourhood kids will think that nobody is home and they’ll stay away.
But then I’ll be in the dark.
