You know the drill. You’re getting ready on a friday night. Your hair’s done, your outfits planned to perfection and your guns are fully loaded. What? You don’t do that for a night out? Weird! Anyway, it’s time to set out and take the galaxy by storm! Whether it’s film, TV or games nerd culture is crawling with cool aliens to befriend. This week we’re looking at my picks for the most badass squad this side of the milky way. Whether it’s fighting bad guys or throwing a party, I want these guys at my back.
I’ve loved Ratchet and Clank since the old days of PS2. As the last of his species, Ratchet went from being a simple mechanic to a galaxy wide hero. This badass Lombax is not only down for an adventure, he’s well equipped for one. With an arsenal of hundreds of weapons, including his trusty omni-wrench, I don’t have anything to fear with Ratchet at my side. Plus he could fix the car if it broke down!
Let this be a lesson to never judge a book by its cover. Though Stitch may look cute and cuddly at first, this puppy has fangs! As a genetic experiment escapee from a distant world, Stitch has everything he needs to both start and end a fight. He’s almost indestructible, super-strong and super cuddly! Plus, when the night gets dull he can always kick things off with an Elvis impersonation and some mischief.
I know what you’re thinking: How on earth does he find the time to keep his hair so soft and shiny while fighting the empire?! Well, I don’t know for sure, but I’ll tell you it’s not L’Oreal. In all seriousness, Chewbacca is a goddamn alien treasure. He’s spent years being a smuggler, rebel leader, starship pilot and badass with a bowcaster. There’s no one you’d rather have on your side when a fight breaks out. Just don’t ever invite him to games night. And if you do, there’s only one rule: Let the Wookie win.
I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: Garrus is the coolest! Throughout the Mass Effect series this guy goes from ‘Dirty Harry in space’ to ‘Space Batman’. A tough cop who doesn’t play by the rules to a vigillante so hated by criminals that he managed to get every gang in the city to stop fighting and team up just to take him down. The man’s a qualified legend! Not only can he snipe a bottle from a mile away, he can help you down that bottle at a club any night of the week. When I play Mass Effect I treat Garrus as my best friend. If only cos I wish I was as cool as him.
To anyone who says “That’s who you want on your squad of badasses? Really? Zoidberg!?” I have only one thing to say: Why not Zoidberg? Seriously, while he may not be of much use in a fight, he’d make an excellent distraction. All we’d need to do is tell him he’d get a sandwich or something afterward and Zoidberg would likely run up to the enemy screaming “wubwubwubwub” all the way! Every group needs a comic relief, and Zoidberg is ours.
So, those are my picks for the best aliens to have in your squad. What about you? Any choice picks we missed? Feel free to send your suggestions to us on our Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.