We segue directly from the HBO logo into a cold opening. What could be so special to warrant this? It’s verdant and the grass basks in the sunlight. A community of settlers are raising a church against the idyllic background. At the centre of their construction project directing the work is their boisterous leader Septon Ray. He revels in the work done by his flock spurring on their efforts. In the distance men approach with logs for the industry. Each great wooden pillar takes at least four men to transport, but soon into view walks a hulking frame shouldering his load in solitary penance. He sets his burden at the base of the frame of the chapel and turns around. He hears it too. Across the great green expanse whistle the immortal words: Get Hype.
This recurring theme of this season seems to be bringing back characters everyone thought was dead. First we got the resurrection of Jon Snow, then Uncle Benjen strolls on set after being away for five seasons and now The Hound makes his long awaited reappearance…. As a man of peace? Yeah you know that isn’t going to last long.
After the open which had every Thrones fan buzzing for what was to come we get an update on how The Hound survived his encounter with Brienne and subsequent tumble down the side of a ravine. He was rescued by the soldier-turned-priest Septon Ray, played fantastically by Ian McShane. McShane has limited space in which to work, as it is his due to die so Sandor Clegane is spurred into action, but he imbues Ray with so much personality it’s impossible not to wish he was given more time to stick around.
So for once in his life Sandor Clegane has found a place where killing is unnecessary. Sure the other smallfolk are a bit spooked by towering man with a half melted face but that’s to be expected. Instead he can angrily chop wood, eat stew and carry logs to his heart’s content. But peace doesn’t last long. The villagers are badgered by the Brotherhood Without Banners for their supplies, and then later slaughtered while The Hound practices his head splitting technique on some trees out in the woods. He’ll need that for the next episode.
In one showing Thrones has managed to pack in both Clegane’s return and the end to his blissful life, without it feeling rushed. Through the contrast with the bleak outside world, some beautiful cinematography and a tragic yet inevitable ending we get a journey that would usually take multiple episodes compiled into one and it pays dividends. My only complaint is that it ends too bloody soon. It’s noteworthy that this episode is the second shortest of the season behind premiere, so if you feel blue-balled by that ending you’re not alone. But there’s reason to be excited as it turns out the final episode of this season is going to clock in at 69 minutes, the longest running time of any episode to date. Plenty of time for axe-murder.
Elsewhere in the Riverlands we also get the return of a great character. The Blackfish has retaken his home and the Freys sit outside just hoping he’ll give them back the castle like a group of really bad medieval repo-men. They threaten to hang his nephew which would be a decent idea if Blackfish gave a single fuck about him. Unfortunately for them he doesn’t. One-handed Jamie Lannister rides in with a great marching column at his back and to his side: BRONN! God damn Thrones you’re spoiling me with all these characters. Jaime slaps some Freys, Bronn says some funny shit and a parlay is called. The Blackfish struts out, delivers some great lines and swaggers his way back into his castle, unfettered by the threats from the Kingslayer.
Up in The North Jon, Sansa, and Davos go door to door begging for any spare soldiers the Northern lords might have dropped in behind their sofa cushions. After a brief chat with their Wilding buddies and convincing crack-head Tormund to die for them they begin their tour of The North. First up is Bear Island, the lord of which is a 10 year old girl who has more balls than the whole south combined. Game of Thrones has a magic dousing rod for child actors and her name is casting director Nina Gold. Little Lyanna Mormont isn’t too interested in marching off to war until Davos speaks up. The Onion Knight is Westeros’ answer to Barney the Dinosaur as he is adored by young children the world round. Presumably the finer points of their negotiations were haggled out over a tea-party and sealed in lullaby.
Next we take a spin to Lord Glover, who is much less interested in what Davos has to say because he’s not a little girl and has lost the power of imagination. There’s little hope of the irate lord joining Team Stark because he’s still a bit mad over his brother being killed and his castle being taken during Robb’s war. Flash forward a bit and they haven’t had much luck with the other lords. With time running out and tensions rising between the Northerners and the Wildings Jon is resolute to attack Winterfell despite being outnumbered. That didn’t work out too well for Stannis but as long as he doesn’t burn Davos at the stake and Sansa doesn’t kill herself he might have a better chance of winning. Mostly set-up for the huge battle that is likely inbound in episode 9 but Lyanna Mormont was a treat and hopefully we’ll see more of her in the future.
Back in King’s Landing and oh god it’s the High Sparrow again. This time the purpose of his ramblings is to play wingman for King Tommen and get Margaery to put out. There’s a real contrast between him and Septon Ray in claiming to know the gods will and just how cool Ray was in general compared to the Penniless Padre. He proceeds to make a couple veiled threats about The Queen of Thorns and holy shit can we just set The Mountain on this guy yet? Margaery goes to meet her grandmother accompanied by her new nun babysitter and my prayers are answered when it’s revealed that she’s playing The Faith. I’m seriously relieved about this because we already have enough scripture quoting from the Famine Father.
Olenna getting Margaery’s point, decides to leave King’s Landing, but not before having one final scene to poke Cersei full of holes. It’s a shame that she once again makes her exit from the series but it was a good choice to make her send-off a verbal beating of Cersei. Surprisingly Cersei doesn’t bite back, but vows to fight on despite all the odds. Hey, she still has a 7 foot zombie monster working for her. About time we put him into action.
Over in Essos Yara gets her les on and Theon feels left out. She busts his balls a little until she remembers he’s sensitive about not having any so lets off. She tells him to get shitfaced and then kill himself. Theon feels a lot better and we get a reminder that they’re on their way to meet up with Dany and give her a load of boats. If Theon’s arc this season is that he’s reverting back into his old self I’m excited for it. He’s practically there already but there’s plenty of time for heroics in the last few episodes. Leading the Iron Born into battle or maybe he can join the unsullied as head of the world’s greatest eunuch fighting force?
Also worth a mention is Ayra getting shanked just when she was finally about to leave Braavos. That sure was disappointing wasn’t it? I wasn’t particularly shocked and neither did I care, this is mostly just a minor extension to Arya’s arc so they can have her leave in the last batch of episodes. If they actually killed her off like that it’d be the one of the most infuriating Shaggy Dog stories in recent memories and it would anger a majority of fans. I’m still of the mind she’s going to join up with that acting troupe and make her way home. Also the citizens of Braavos seem awfully indifferent to orphan abuse. First blind Arya gets beaten with a stick in public and no one cares, and now she’s bleeding all over the cobblestones and it warrants a bit of scornful staring but not much else.
As is usually the case even the less eventful episodes of Thrones have loads going on, even if this one was infuriatingly short. It’s fantastic to finally have The Hound reenter the show and we spent a good deal of time with him this episode and I am excited beyond measure for what the future might hold in store for him. Arya got stabbed, Blackfish gave a great trailer line and Margaery isn’t a fanatic. It almost feels greedy to say this was one of the weaker episodes of the season, in that we still got plenty of fantastic scenes but the story wasn’t driven forward as is the case from the greatest episodes. Nothing to rave about apart from The Hound, but nothing to bash on either We’re into the final stretch now and Thrones usually sprints for the finish. Lets see how much momentum they can pick up in the next few weeks.
