It’s not a collection when you’ve not been able to give it your full attention. It’s the geek pile! We all have one! It’s a clutter of shame! A mountain of disgraced discs! A sea of scandalished back issues! A scandalous trove of half watched episodes!
With the best of intentions many a geek and gamer has tried to mount and conquer their pile. Everest pales in the wake of this task. Requiring hours, days and even weeks of mental preparation, list making and the fortification of an iron will, needed to resist buying and adding to the colossal collection.
If you’ve ever tried to defeat the pile then you’ll be more than familiar with the stages any geek climber faces.
Step back in awe!
You can do this! It’s totally doable! Yeah, you’re on the right path, affirm your ability to handle any task!
Think of your end goal!
All those comics stored away in plastic sleeves. All those games stacked neatly and alphabetically on their shelves. Floor and table space in a room that has been far too long lost in the shadow of the pile! Dreams can come true!
Prepare yourself! This is it!
You’ve got this, face it head on and with a spring in your step!
Burn through it!
Take no prisoners! Speed read, speed run! The dialogue isn’t important! You just want to finish it one way or another. Wait… there’s bonus content if I get 70% completion rate? Really?
The first hurdle!
Oh crap! Don’t falter now! You can do this! Power on with something else to keep your focus!
But what next?
The indie comic? The backlog of Steam sale games? Is it even possible to finish Skyrim?
Yeah start with the comic! Good idea, you idiot! You only picked it up because your friend said you had to! you hate reading! Why did you restart with this?!
Back on the pile!
Okay no forget that! Put it back on the pile! Maybe if you just organise it into careful mini piles it won’t be so bad!
Sod this!
It’s your pile! And if you pretend it’s not there, no one can say anything different!
Buy something new to cheer yourself up!
After all that you need a little TLC and some ‘me time’. Shopping time!
Editor-in-Chief, part-time super villain and hoarder of cats. If you can’t find me writing, I’m probably in the kitchen!
