Just in case the zombie apocalypse is on the horizon, you should be well prepared for the people you’re going to meet (and possibly live with) during this tough period of your life.
Check out our list below to get familiar with the types you’ll be shacking up with once the apocalypse inevitably hits:
The certified psycho
This is the guy or gal you see smiling as they scrape off a zombie’s scalp as ‘a souvenir’. You’re pretty sure the apocalypse is what they’ve been waiting for their whole life and now they’re in their element.
Back away slowly, as long as your flesh isn’t rotting off your body the should ignore you.
The wimp
In dire need of new underwear because of the amount of times they’ve peed themselves in the presence of a zombie, this person relies on everyone else around them to save their sorry ass.
You better hope this isn’t you because, if so, you’ll end up being dropped like a hot potato!
The leader
This person thinks it’s their duty to boss everyone around and is absolutely convinced it’s for the greater good so that everyone in the group stays alive. Funny how people seem to die either way, sometimes by the leader’s hand because ‘they were threatening his/her leadership’.
Plan the mutiny now. The longer you wait, the more insufferable and/or dangerous this person becomes!
The one who got bit
They may be your friend or your family member of just another member of your group, but you will see someone you’ve met get bit. That’s a given! Now you get to listen to them tell their life story as they slowly succumb to their wounds.
But it gets pretty awkward. How long are you required to stay with them? What’s the social protocol here? Just say you can’t bear to see them go and toddle off to open a nice cold can of beans.
The idiot
Trying to keep quiet in a supermarket or a back alley to get away from some zombies? Too bad, you have an idiot with you who can’t stop whimpering and/or knocking things over.
You might as well take this guy out yourself because he’s going to get everyone killed. It’s pre-emptive self-defence, really.
The hero
This person may have saved your life, or the group’s lives, many times over. So you owe them one (or several!). However, more often than not they also believe that there’s still good in people and that kind of thinking can get you killed.
Keep an eye on this one; they might run off and return with a host of douchebags who you have to share your last protein bar with because this guy wants to act the hero.
Do you see yourself in this list? Who do you think you’ll be in the apocalypse? Let us know in the comments!
