Since we’re all about the love this week on The Arcade, we’re swamped by our feelings and we’re all fantasizing about our favourite fictional crushes, haunted by the love that can never be because they’re imaginary. I’m guilty of more than a few fictional crushes in my lifetime, spanning from the world of games to anime and TV.
So without further ado, let’s get to it!
Disclaimer: Anyone who decides to tease me for these choices at a later stage will face my wrath. I protect my senpais!
The Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who
I barely need to explain this one. Nearly every new generation Doctor Who fan will tell you Ten was their favourite. He not only had the dramatic scenes to show the anger and sadness of being a timelord, but also had enough comedy and snappy comebacks to make a Dalek blush. Not to mention that snazzy wardrobe!
Cullen from Dragon Age Inquisition
Cullen is a character that first showed up in Origins. His role was literally nothing more than a young, naive little Templar who had a massive crush on you if you played as a female mage. He literally just bumbled through a single conversation with your character and then didn’t show up again until he was being tortured. And yet this little interaction was enough to send many a gamer into a frenzy, creating mod after mod just to add in a chance to kiss the guy.
Cullen was so popular that they had to bring him back in Dragon Age 2 and then again, finally, as a romance option in Inquisition. This is a character whose fangirls’ love just never ever died, and I never quite understood it until watching him derp and stumble over any sort of flirtation in Inquisition. This Templar is nothing short of adorable once you start pursuing him and, while he’s not my favourite DA bae, he certainly comes in at a close second.
Suou Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club
Ah, Tamaki-Senpai! My first experience with anime, assuming you don’t count the american localisation of Yu-Gi-Oh and Cardcaptors from my youth, was with this bout of insanity called Ouran High School Host Club. For those of you who don’t know, it’s basically about a school club based on male prostitution. Girls in a private school can attend an after-school club where boys romance them and our protagonist, Haruhi, somehow gets caught up in it.
Now, you may be wondering why I have a crush on the so called ‘King’ of the host club, but anyone who has watched the show probably agrees with me. Tamaki is adorable! Not only does he have the charm and the looks to pass as ‘the host with the most’, behind closed doors he’s actually just a giant, over-dramatic derp!
Garrus Vakarian from Mass Effect
Garrus’ character arc is interesting. He basically transforms from space Dirty Harry to space Batman, roaming through the galaxy righting injustices under the pseudonym ‘Archangel’. Whenever Garrus wasn’t being a badass sniper serving up justice to crooks, he was either flirting with Shepard in the most awkward way possible, or calibrating some unknown thing that would probably signal the end of the world.
Seriously, I don’t think we’ll ever find out what all those calibrations were for but I’d like to think he would show up with either an ‘off’ button for the reapers or a microwave. Back on topic, Garrus combines the aspect of a cool and calm sniper with a really awkward geek and I can only imagine ‘calibrations’ equals ‘computer science’ in real world situations.
Now, don’t ask me how this relationship would be feasible given I don’t have a clue what Turian anatomy looks like underneath that armour, but I will say this: Don’t ingest.
Alistair Theirin from Dragon Age Origins
For me, there is no character I’d rather bring to life than Alistair Theirin. Honestly, I almost feel as if Alistair was an apology to female gamers for all the female characters in scantily clad armour that were just there to fulfill a male fantasy. After so many years of having characters specifically made for a straight male audience, here’s a character for women; go watch him be adorable while you save the world together!
Not only does his character deliver sharp wit and sarcastic one liners, he’s also a genuine asset to your party in battle. He’s just so goddamn precious. He collects runestones and tokens because he thinks they’re neat and likes studying them. He has a quip and comeback for literally anything you throw at him. And, on top of that, he has some of the most romantic, awkward scenes of the entire game.
Alistair goes through every step from awkward flirtation to nervous confession of love to genuine happily ever after (if you play your cards right!). When he gives your character the rose from Lothering and talks about what it means to him and, by extension, what you mean to him, I cannot help but melt. In short, Alistair comes as close to a perfect man as one can possibly get from pixels.
Who are your fictional crushes? Let us know in the comments!