Hey there readers! With any luck, you’re reading this article indoors, with a nice cosy fire and your favorite blanket, because if not, and you’re outdoors, run for your life! The wind has been picking up around here recently, and while we’ve never been at risk of hurricanes in Ireland, that doesn’t mean the forces of nature can’t cause havoc on our poor little selves. Storm Barney is set to hit hard with winds up to 125km/h and it leaves me to wonder; just who exactly did we piss off to cause this? Well there are a few theories…
Janna – League of Legends
Now, League of Legends has a lot of wind characters, but none are quite as culpable as The Storm’s Fury herself. Say what you will, but I don’t think Yasuo could have caused this much carnage with a swipe of his blade, so that leaves the blame firmly with Janna. This former street urchin made herself into an avatar of wind through her own means, bringing total control over the forces of the wind. The only thing keeping me from completely condemning her is the fact she’s also stated to be one of the friendliest champions in LoL, so whoever pissed her off would have to work really hard at it. Speaking of avatars….
Aang – Avatar: The Last Airbender
Ah, Aang, everyone’s favorite little air bender. Frozen in a glacier for 100 years, this 12 year old boy woke from his stasis to find a world in chaos, and he was the only one able to stop it. Blessed with the power of the avatars before him, Aang learned to control all 4 elements to finally restore piece to his war torn world, with his trademark playful antics every step of the way. This one’s a tricky one, because while Aang is all powerful with wind, and making something this strong certainly isn’t outside his capabilities once he goes into a trance, it’s very hard to imagine him getting angry at the entire country. My guess? He was playing air ball and things got out of hand. Not to worry though, I’m sure he can fix this… right?
Storm – X-men
Now I might not know much about comic books, but I do know that if you’re planning to have a barbecue this weekend, maybe don’t annoy the one person who dictates whether it’ll be sunny that day. As one of the most formidable of the X-men with both leadership capabilities and the power to summon a freakin’ tornado on a moments notice, she’s one badass female you do not wanna mess with. Why is she to blame for this mess of a day? Well aside from being all powerful and fully able to control the weather, I think I heard some mutants rights protesters up on O’Connell Street today, so maybe something is going down. I dunno, I don’t follow politics…
Pandemona – Final Fantasy
Let’s face it, there are a lot of windy beasts in the Final Fantasy universe. Blaming a storm on someone from Final Fantasy could land you anywhere between a battle with FF8’s Elvoret or simply a stray hit of Valefor’s ‘Sonic Wing’ attack. However, if you’re going to blame anyone, I’d point the finger at FF8 GF Pandemona. As probably the most recognisable wind summon in the series, Pandemona not only arrives to battle on a tornado, but then proceeds to suck up the enemies and blast them out again like the worlds most powerful vacuum cleaner. The real question is do we blame Pandemona for having the power, or whoever summoned them. Ethics in the culpability of video game creatures, it must be discussed!
Barney – How I Met Your Mother
Okay, so he doesn’t have any wind powers, or any powers in general aside from a snazzy suit and the playbook. But do you really think he won’t try to take credit? If this storm has even the slightest chance of being turned into a pick up line, Barney Stinson is using it. For confirmation, keep an eye out for flying suits caught in the gale tonight.
So, those are our theories, but what about yours?