With Arcadecon currently in full swing and all manner of madness presently occurring, I figured I’d share with you the stages of cosplay disaster that every person will go through at some point over the weekend. When they’re good, they’re great, but the downward slide is a fast and slippery slope. A loose thread now and in ten minutes someone is tapping you on the shoulder to let you know your Penney’s Halloween novelty underwear is presently showing and traumatizing the younger attendees.
The Task At Hand
You’ve decided to cosplay on the Saturday; it’s a few hours away and you’ve got three outfits to assemble and finish with feverish hands. You’ve been putting it off for so long thanks to work and stupid life but the time has come. You’d love to have the money for some of those nice and shiny custom made cosplays (so you wouldn’t have had to break your back for weeks sewing and sewing) but all you have is an unsteady glue gun hand, difficulty threading a needle and a wardrobe about to just get halved as you scramble for material.
Its 4am and you’ve just cut the legs off your sisters leggings and have accidentally glued a sock to a t-shirt for no reason whatsoever. You really need sleep but there’s just too much to do. Cutting corners is unavoidable.
Those stitches should hold. Hopefully. Nah they will. You’ve two more outfits to get done in the next few hours, so they better. Duct tape will do, right?
Finally, you’ve got them finished. It’s taken everything you have and you haven’t slept in a week, but it’s over.
Your last minute assembly has turned out better than you could have hoped. So what if you just tacked that sleeve on with a few staples? It just needs to last the next few hours so people can take their pictures and you can feel a lovely sense of accomplishment.
A wild loose thread appears, but it’s going to be fine. You’ve brought a few things with you for these repairs. You knew this was going to happen. It’s okay. You’re prepared.
Unfortunately, the switch has been flipped. The rigours of con-life has started to take its toll and everything seems to be coming apart at the seams. It may have started small but already you’re in the toilets trying to thread a needle while lamenting the fact that you chose to wear your pink undies today; pink undies which are now completely visible through the five inch gap in the back. There’s a cold breeze touching places it really shouldn’t.
Someone has just come up to you with the dreaded words “Hey, this bit fell off back there in the trade hall!” – They hand you a piece of homemade armour and you want to just die inside.
This may or may not have just happened.
You feel like everyone is watching you and judging you. You can almost feel their eyes falling on the bright purple thread holding both sides of your rear end together.
Someone has just come up to you asking for a picture. You feel like a fraud. “I’M NOT WORTHY!!”
You’re so tired right now. Words can’t even describe. Fortunately, you are officially done for today. Shower and bed await you at home.