Home Games Boss Rush: Top 5 'Stick Of Truth' Enemies
Boss Rush: Top 5 'Stick Of Truth' Enemies

Boss Rush: Top 5 'Stick Of Truth' Enemies


Having only recently delved into the world of RPG turn-based adventure games (I’ve only started to play Final Fantasy VII), I found South Park The Stick of Truth to be wonderfully bizarre. It plays out just like an episode, or several episodes, from the television show and you are pitted against interesting characters as you progress through the story.
Some are easier than others, while some are more entertaining to fight. Here are my Top 5 boss fights from the game.
5. The Gingers – Gary Nelson 
I have nothing personal against gingers. Honestly, I really don’t. But you can’t help but get swept up in the moment when fighting them. Especially when they turn into Nazi zombies. You begin to hear Cartman’s voice whispering in the back of your head, “Daywalker“. It oddly psychs you up.
Science and faith have yet to determine whether gingers possess souls or not. And as you try to fend off Gary Nelson the hall monitor, while wielding a Nazi staff, your moral compass goes out the window and you do what needs to be done.
4. Mongolian Horde
Stop knocking down my chitti wall!
I loved having to fight the entire horde of Mongolians as opposed to just one leader. In the show they’re portrayed as one unit, acting like a well organised machine, and it was amazing to see that carry over into the game.
They’re not an easy bunch to beat, but they’re not without their weaknesses. Although they may seem like they out number you, a hit will affect the entire group.  Remember, they fight as one, they bleed as one.
3. Nazi Zombie Cows
The name alone forces my cheeks to rise, forming a smile so wide you can see it from space… probably. It’s just such a simple but brilliant idea. From the swastika arm bands to the dynamite body belts. If they weren’t Nazis I would say they’re almost adorable.
But they are Nazis, and they’re not adorable. In fact, they’re the worst boss to beat. Their primary attack consists of walking right up to you, lighting a stick of dynamite, then exploding, leaving nothing but blood and guts all over the place and causing significant damage to your character.
When faced against these nefarious creatures it is wise to finish them off quickly. Or you can play it cool and constantly heal yourself as each of the cows step forward, giving their lives thinking they have taken yours. But it’s best to put them out of their misery quickly.
2. Giant Nazi Zombie Foetus
I thought there was no greater Nazi Zombie than the cows. That is, until the foetus arrived. WTF! I am not a man who uses abbreviations, but in this case I shall make an exception. My eyes could not believe what they were seeing. It was a Giant Nazi Zombie Foetus with its umbilical cord still attached. It tore through a wall and ripped apart two soldiers. What chance was I to have?
The trick is to destroy its umbilical cord first. Just get rid of that thing. It uses it as a weapon, almost like a front tail. Once you’ve destroyed it you still have a task ahead of you. Its HP is quite high and you’ll need plenty of snacks to restore your own health. But keep at it and you’ll prevail.
1. Former Vice President Al Gore
I regretted almost immediately becoming friends with Al Gore. His constant update messages drove me to the brink. At first I laughed and shrugged them off. But then they kept coming in and popping up on-screen. I decided to confront him and attempt to talk him into unfriending me. What could have been a pleasant and reasonable discussion quickly escalated into a heated battle, secret service and all.
At this point in the game I was pretty well equipped. I had decent stats and weapons, with a large supply of healthy salt snacks to raise my HP. I felt pretty confident I would be no longer receiving annoying messages fairly soon. I only wish my confidence was as good as my stats.
After landing two blows, Al Gore sends out his Secret Service goons and they act as his shield. They are incredibly hard to beat. Little children with magical fart powers and enchanted rubber dildos are no match for assault rifles and flashy suits.
The worst part is, it’s not necessary to beat Al Gore to win the game. He’s just a side quest. He’s a side quest and he’s the hardest character to frickin’ beat. I’ll admit, I still haven’t beaten him and it eats me up inside. But I have completed the story and after that I find it difficult to want to complete the side missions. Maybe some day I’ll go back. Just maybe…
What was your favourite boss battle from the game? Let us know in the comments below!