I know what you’re thinking. No, really, I know.
Who the hell would ever forget Knight Rider?
I’m here to tell you that not only are there people out there who forget about Knight Rider, but there are also generations of people who’ve never even watched it. I know, I know. You need a minute to breathe through the shock of that.
In my case, the culprit for this heinous crime is the passing of a few decades and the death of a few trillion brain cells; just one too many Marvel related nerdgasms I’m afraid. After all, the world is now filled with so many awesome things that sometimes new awesome things take the place of old awesome things. Cause really, were we to constantly be in a state of perpetual awe and excitement nothing would ever get done.
For those of you not in the know, Knight Rider was a TV show from 1982 based on a number of now standard ideas, one: that after being shot in the face, not only do you not look disfigured after surgery, you look like a young David Hasselhoff. Two: Rich people like to fund secret crime fighting organizations. Three: Cars that talk are epic.
The show starred David Hasselhoff as Michael Knight (Michael Long) a police officer, who after being shot in the face, changes his identity and vows to spend the rest of his life in the pursuit of justice. Aiding him in his quest is KITT, his AI inhabited, near -indestructible talking car and the agents of FLAG; a sorta semi privately founded secret organization dedicated to making the world a better place.
I’m going to admit it, but I want you to join me in this. Raise your hand if you have ever had, or currently have a crush on KITT. Uh-huh. I thought as much. For me, it was one of my first cases of voice actor induced machine crush.
Was my tiny little girl mind any match for the allure of William Daniels? No it was not. If there was anything I remember from those early years it was that Michael Knight was cool, but KITT was a legend. Those sleek Pontiac firebird trans am lines. That little light at the front that zipped backwards and forwards, hypnotizing the viewers.
I’ll be honest, do I remember much about Michael Knight? No.
Do I recall any major villains or fights he was ever involved in?
Not really. Do I remember that KITT had an evil twin called KARR and the two actually being involved in car on car fight scenes? Yes, yes I do. Do I still make odd high-pitched sounds at the thought of such fights? Why yes, I do that also.
Knight Rider – Now!
I’m going to start by saying that no matter the problems with logic, reason, financing, acting, story or so help me, even the overwhelming goofball nature of the show, nothing will ever tarnish the eternal crush I have for KITT.
Nothing. Nothing, you hear me!
Unfortunately, if you were expecting Knight Rider to be serious, I’m gonna be straight with you, it really isn’t. Don’t let the opening voice-over about a man without an identity fool you, it’s pretty fluffy. The villains are laughable caricatures of potentially very bad people. The stories often make little sense and as I watch it now, I see the product placement and it scars me deeply. Yeah, with your new improved convertible KITT. I know what you were up to!
Knight Rider is quite possibly the goofiest show I watched as a child; it survived for four seasons on the camaraderie and suave of the two lead characters alone, because if I’m truthful it lacked in every single other way. If you watch it now you will make disgruntled noises. Many disgruntled noises. Ultimately, the show was made for family watching. So as dark and bleakly toned as you might gather at first glance it was basically every episode of Golden Girls at heart.
I judge it harshly. I know. However for all the issues with Knight Rider it isn’t one of those things that I can ever ruin for myself. Like my belief in KITT and his database of jokes, it’ll always be in even the darkest parts of my withered little black heart.
“But seriously, I stopped for gas the other day and the service was so slow, by the time they filled me up, my upholstery was out of style.”