Due to circumstances out of my control I was left without a laptop all weekend. The thing just up and died on me. Technology, you can’t live with it and you can’t live without it. I haven’t abandoned my Halloween challenge, not by a long shot. I continued to watch horror films despite my inability to write the reviews. Here are the films I saw over the last few days.
An evil spirit known as the Toothfairy preys on young children on the night they lose their last baby tooth.
I suddenly realised I haven’t seen a ghost story in a long time and I had an itch to see one. But I really should have put more research into it before I subjected myself to the WORST film I have ever seen. Hyperbole intended. This incomprehensible dribble dragged on for over ninety minutes and I would like them back. I am prepared to accept them in Bitcoin. Darkness Falls fails in everything it tries to accomplish. I dare anyone to find a single redeeming quality. The story and plot structure are appalling. There are too many random events and the film relies heavily on assumptions and coincidences. The acting is, well, below standard (sorry Emma Caufield). And I can’t find a single moment where I cared for anyone or anything that was happening. Worst yet, Darkness Falls failed to even scare me a little. The Toothfairy had a porcelain mask on the entire time for some silly reason and it was always made obvious when she would appear. Avoid, all ye who seek to watch!
Best Line: (after hearing a crazy story about a Toothfairy ghost) “I thought you’d say something like that.”
Best Moment: When the police station was attacked by the ghost. *(This wasn’t a good moment. This was just to have the police do something.)
On a remote island, a luxury apartment block is plagued by parasites that cause their hosts to become sexually aggressive.
David Croneberg’s debut feature, Shivers does not disappoint. It is a terrifying insight into the human fear of sexuality. It is brutally honest as well as controversial. From the very opening you are hooked. It’s absolutely hypnotic. There is also something very claustrophobic about the film. Perhaps that the characters are trapped on an island resort, far from help, that we cannot escape the feeling of being trapped. Released three years before George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (1978), Shivers is a zombie film with a twist. Instead of the now familiar flesh-eating hordes, these creatures crave sexual pleasure. And not just for themselves, they pass it instinctually, as if it is the norm. A stunning and thrilling movie, you’d be mad to let this one pass by you.
Best Line: “Roger, I had a very disturbing dream last night. In this dream I found myself making love to a strange man. Only I’m having trouble you see, because he’s old… and dying… and he smells bad, and I find him repulsive. But then he tells me that everything is erotic, that everything is sexual. You know what I mean? He tells me that even old flesh is erotic flesh. That disease is the love of two alien kinds of creatures for each other. That even dying is an act of eroticism. That talking is sexual. That breathing is sexual. That even to physically exist is sexual. And I believe him, and we make love beautifully.”
Best Moment: Roger has no where left to run and is embraced by everyone.
A practical man returns to his homeland, only to be attacked by a creature of folklore, and infected with a horrific disease that turns him into a lycanthrope.
The Wolfman is a wonderful, classic tale of horror. But it is the horror of the human mind. What makes us tick? What drives us to perform heinous acts of aggression towards our fellow-man? Lon Chaney Jr. gives a touching and sympathetic performance as a man cursed to walk as a wolf at night. He struggles with his new identity, questioning what he knows to be true. There is a monster inside him. But can he control it? The film centers on Chaney’s fragile state as he slowly slips away. We can’t help but feel sorry for him as he eventually succumbs to the masses who track him down like a dog. The Wolfman is a fantastic picture, filled with early and poignant ideas about the mind and self. Release the beast within and make sure you catch this film.
Best Line: “Whoever is bitten by a werewolf and lives becomes a werewolf himself.”
Best Moment: Larry is terrified when he sees his legs transforming in front of him.
A humble tax collector arrives in a small town and spends the night in a haunted temple. He meets a swordsman keeping the peace between good and evil, and the love of his life, a mysterious ghost woman. Together they must bring her ashes and bones back to her village so she can be reincarnated. But evil spirits try to prevent them from completing their task.
I had never heard of A Chinese Ghost Story http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093978/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 before. I am thankful that is no longer the case. It is a combination of the Evil Dead trilogy and Crouching, Tiger, Hidden. Dragon. It is incredible fresh, exciting and colourful, filled with amazing set pieces and lively characters. The story moves at a lightning pace, but doesn’t feel unnatural. Characters are given time to breathe and develop. The fight scenes are fantastic and there is even a brief music video (which is hilarious). I immensely enjoyed this campy, fun, extravagant film, and I highly recommend tracking it down.
Best Line: “Scholar, it seems we’ve to storm hell!”
Best Moment: Ning Choi-san and Yin Chik-ha enter the spirit world to rescue Nip Siu-sin.