As some of you may have noticed, the World Sports Soccer Cup (World Cup) Tournament has begun. Now it’s worth mentioning here that I myself am not very let’s say… well versed in sports. NO it’s true. I was given a Playstation at a very young age and as I grew older I fell into comic book collecting, really I stood no chance I think you’ll agree.
But with the World Cup having just ‘kicked off’ (heh) I’ve decided “If you can’t beat them, join them.” It’s unavoidable. So having just watched the Netherlands thoroughly trounce Spain (5-1) I’ve elected to form my own ‘Fantasy Football‘ team. A team I think can go the distance and eradicate all other teams that challenge them.
Now because it’s the only formation I know (I use the term loosely), I’ve gone with the 4-4-2 formation (Notice the nifty graph above). So read on from here and check out my squad and why I think they’ll dominate the the pitch.
I know what you’re thinking, he’s overweight, non athletic, never motivated, seldom conscious. But he’s huge! A well placed and well trained snorlax can deter almost anyone. Let’s just hope vuvuzela’s don’t work the same way a poké-flute does.
Ryu, he’s a good all rounder, trains hard and plays fair. He shoots fireballs from his hands. If we can train him to do that from his feet? And into a net? Profit.
Do I really need to explain my reasoning for Gandalf and this position? “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!“
He doesn’t play by the rules. no, he’ll more than likely injure everyone around him (our team included) but he can come back from any injury! No dives, no time wasting. The best there is at what he does, but what he does… ain’t sports!
Naturally the ‘Captain’ of our team. He’s in peak physical human fitness and leads the charge in any group he’s in. Also a master tactician with an unbreakable defence. Steve calls the shots.
Fastest man alive they say, surely that’s someone you want zipping up the left wing no? He could be gone and back before the other players even notice, so long as he doesn’t trip and he remembers the ball.
Chun Li can kill a man in 9 different ways using only her legs. Literally kicking at break neck speeds. Apply that level of dedication to sport and hopefully nobody dies.
Lord Vader trained from a young age and is always eager to have others join his side. Not gonna lie, the ability to curve the ball using the force may come in very handy here. Force-choking the ref however… not so much.
“Once he builds enough momentum no force on Earth can stop him” tackle that! Now, whether he remembers to pass the ball or just keeps running and tears through the stands and into the carpark is another issue we’ll deal with when we come to it.
Given Peter’s unique ‘Spider-Sense‘ he’s a natural choice for this position. He can focus purely on the sport and let his Spidey sense warn him of any impending tackles while it keeps track of team-mates and opponents in the box.
No defence can stop him. He’s massive, the intimidation factor alone here helps us out. Let’s just hope we can get a jersey big enough or that he doesn’t wreck the stadium.
Providing this fella turns up, we’ll have all the subs we’ll ever need. Which is technically only 3 but… still. Once his doubles actually know sport we’re okay, and if not? He’s only a sub.
Come on you had to have seen that coming? He could guide the whole team telepathically from the sidelines never giving away our secrets verbally and maybe even learning a few secrets himself??
So there you have it, my dream team. Surely they deserve some kind of trophy? But you think you could assemble a better squad than mine? Then let me know in the comments section below sports fans.