You’ve got to admit it, life would be a hell of lot easier if you had super powers! It’s all well and good being able to leap tall buildings, possess the ability to read and manipulate minds or shoot laser beams from your eyes but there are other powers out there that might not exactly make you a powerhouse or one of the most feared/respected villains… I mean hero… out there! No there are powers that have use on a more personal level, powers that would make your daily routine and life that much simpler! Here are ten powers that might not make you the best hero (villain) in history but would sure make your commute home or chance of landing that promotion a little easier!
10/ Rapid Healing
Picture the scenario, you’re due to give a big presentation to a new client but that tickle in your throat last night is worse and you’re stricken with the flu virus, your body aches, your head is fried and there is no way you’re getting to give that talk in front of the big-wigs! Goodbye promotion! That wouldn’t be a problem of course if you possessed rapid healing, in fact, you’d never have to worry about getting sick again! Who needs vitamin C when you can’t even scurvy any more!
There is a downside to this one though, no more illnesses means no more sick days, so unless you’re able to cash those in or exchange them for holidays then you’ve been stung… a blessing and a curse!
Who has it: Wolverine, Doomsday, Hellboy
9/Teleportation
Disappearing and reappearing at your own whim, transporting yourself and others to foreign places or just back and forth from work/school! Teleportation means no long distance flights, no commuting and no need for your own car/jet/boat! Now this is all dependent on your mastery of the power and the limitations on you, Nightcrawler can only teleport as far as he can see while Magik has been able to teleport herself across entire continents (and even time…but that’s a different story!).
As of yet the only downside I can see to teleportation is being spoiled for choice… that and the whole in between teleports where am I going… it better not be a hell dimension!
Who has it: Nightcrawler, Magik, Raven
8/Telekinesis
Now this was a power invented by someone who embodies the word ‘lazy’ and who wouldn’t be super lazy if they had telekinesis! The ability to lift and move objects with just a thought, couch potatoes (myself included) would happily sign up for potential testing if it meant never having to get up (and if I did have to get up I’d just use my mind powers to levitate myself…no more using my limbs for me!) to go to the fridge for a drink again! It doesn’t just end at getting snacks though, phone ringing just out of reach? No problem! Did the remote just slip behind the couch? Hah, I’m telekinetic! Your car blocked in by inconsiderate drivers? Let me just think them out of the way!
Downside? Well sometimes thinking is hard!
Who has it: Jean Grey, Psyduck, Prue Halliwell
7/Phasing
Love her or hate her, being able to walk through solid matter sure came in use for Kitty Pryde! Doors and walls are for chumps! The daily applications of phasing could be used for good or evil, I mean I’d never encourage you to phase into a storeroom and walk out with all new free clothes/food/games/stuff, that’s a crime but it would save you a lot of money…but it’s also illegal! The power does have non-illegal benefits too, you’d never stub your toe again, you’d be able to get things out of presses without having to open doors and you’d be able to make your way through crowds without having to dodge between buggies, hand-holding couples and chuggers!
Who has it: Shadowcat, Martian Manhunter, Peter Petrelli
6/Time Manipulation
Much like Phasing, Time Manipulation is open to abuse so let’s ignore going back and forward in time to get those lotto numbers! On a daily basis, you’d never have to be late for anything again, ever, you are lord and master/mistress of time! Finding yourself in one of those awkward moments? Well just speed it up! Missed that last goal and you’re not Sky plussing it? No problem! Time manipulation is tricky though, messing with the past can lead to some big changes in history… remember when Homer went back in time?
Who has it: Hiro, Rose Tyler/Bad Wolf, Elizabeth Comstock
5/Technopathy
Jammed printers, blue screens and the red ring of death, oh and ATMs that refuse to give me money! At some stage or another we’ve had to deal with an insubordinate piece of technology, the blasted machine refuses to do it’s job and your left with no other option than to give it a quick few kicks or taking the hoover to the air filter because it’s always dust problems! Well with the ability to communicate and manipulate the computer process, these would simply be a fading memory! Double sided, clean contrast and mixed colour printing would happen because you want it to not because the complex screen of flashing images and warnings only goes away when you jam the keypad with two fists!
Who has it: Forge, Micah
4/Clairvoyance
It’s all too easy to put in telepathy here but that power opens a floodgate of bitchy thoughts and mind melding that I don’t fancy going into! No clairvoyance will do just nicely! Providing your ability to learn the art you’ll be able to do anything from find your missing keys, recall your drunken escapades after that last shot ended your ability to retain memories (and your inhibitions!) or even see into the not too distant future! This is like combining your horoscope with a prayer to St. Anthony, who wouldn’t want to be able to do that?
Who has it: Black Adam, Molly Walker, Alisha Daniels
3/Total Recall
There is only so far clairvoyance can get you, for everything else there is total recall or the eidetic memory! It might not sound that impressive at first but what about being able to recall information (provided you actually read it) during an exam? Your boss wants those latest stats from this weeks report, you’ve got them memorised exactly! Dates, phone numbers and actual events are easily recalled and in some cases relived just by thinking about them! You’ll never forget who won the Academy Award for Best Director in 1993 again!
Who has it: Spencer Reid, Charlie Andrews (don’t make me cry!), Sage
2/Weather Manipulation
I don’t care what anyone says, an Irish summer that doesn’t result in torrential downpours, bitter Farmers on RTÉ news and depressed school children, isn’t a summer at all! Sure you can save the world with this ability or you can make sure that you’re not sweltering in your apartment from a dead heat and rinsing your head under the kitchen tap every twenty minutes! It also means that if and when it does get cold, it doesn’t need to be that awful kind of cold where you get your hands cold and wet then accidentally hit them off a hard surface and it hurts for ages!
Who has it: Storm (because no one does it better!)
1/Super Wealth
With great power comes great responsibility! With great wealth comes a huge house, all the stuff I want and no more having to worry about bills and squirrelling loose change into an airtight jar for ‘rainy’ days! You’re damn right this is a power that would have some serious daily usage, just look at Bruce Wayne, the man does nothing all day, then hangs out with super models and knocks back champagne and he’s able to afford to be a vigilante… squandering his near unlimited financial resources on a hobby! That’s what I call having it all!
Who has it: Bruce Wayne, Lex Luthor, Everyone but me!
Editor-in-Chief, part-time super villain and hoarder of cats. If you can’t find me writing, I’m probably in the kitchen!
