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Gamer, gamer, pants on fire!

Gamer, gamer, pants on fire!

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Shoot us for saying it but why the hell can’t it be storm force winds and icy rain pelting down outside! This weather is the bane of our existence, it’s hot, it’s humid and the stupid sunlight is causing a glare on our television screens! However both skylights in our office are open and a perfectly cold breeze is rushing through and that has left us sane and able enough to write and what else would we write about on a day like today other than our favourite FIRE based weapons from the world of video games!

It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes…because I accidentally set you on fire…with this flower…

5/Molotov Cocktail – Left 4 Dead

All the fury and power of a raging fire storm packaged up in a bottle of lighter fluid soaked rag, yep we’re talking about the Molotov Cocktail! With enough fire jammed inside it to take out a horde of raging Zombies and set the juggernaut that is the Tank alight too (although a roaring inferno that ignores pain and still charges at you is not an ideal way to go about killing it..unless you want a roaring inferno on fire!). The Molotov cocktail is a quicky and easy tool for clearing a path or fending off a horde you accidentally brought down upon yourself but it’s not without it’s own hazards. You can and will nine times out ten manage to burn either yourself or one your AI controlled group so be careful where you chuck it unless of course you like setting people on fire 

4/Dragon’s Breath – Dragon Rage

Well you’ve just escaped from captivity and with your trusted Sprite sidekick it’s time to set some ass on fire! You are Cael Cyndar (yeah we get the awful last name reference too!), a dragon who after escaping captivity must now stop a rampaging Orc army from wiping out your entire race and what better way to do that other than flying through the sky and raining fiery doom upon their Orcish hides!

3/Fireball gun – Contra

The Fireball gun from Contra has always been one of our favourite weapons in the game! It’s powerful and has a nice spread meaning if your in it’s path you’re going to get burned…badly! It has always reminded us of the Fireflower from the first Super Mario games too and like the Fireflower it also lacks in speed – the waves of fire bullets are painfully slow at reaching their intended targets.

2/Fireflower – Smash Bros.

So why is the fireflower number two on our list of awesome fire weapons? Well because this isn’t your typical Fireflower. In the Smash Bros. series the fireflower acts more like a flame-thrower than a fireball tossing petal covered gun! Your foes were set ablaze as the tiny flower spewed waves of fire on them not only setting them alight but also shoving them across the stage too and when it’s all used up you could chuck at your enemies for one last burst of fire before it vanished. Reduce, reuse, refire! (we made that last word up!)

1/Pyrokinesis – Bioshock / Bioshock 2

There are a couple of games that employ the pyrokinesis ability, from sorcerers to super powered mutants but none have mastered the ability to wield the power of fire itself like the Bioshock games. The Incinerate! plasmid is available in both games and at the cost of EVE, allows you to quickly and brutally set your intended target on fire whether it be an object, big Daddy or Splicers.

While on fire controls are a little more frantic but the flames can be quickly doused by seeking out water (and in a city built underwater it’s not exactly hard to find!) however this is where the versatility of the Incinerate! plasmid pushes it to the top of our list – while your on fire target is trying to quench the flames in a puddle of water why not toss a bolt of Electricity into the water to ensure their last few moments on this Earth are as painful and as sizzling as possible! Sound like too much work? Well combine fire with the telekinesis plasmid and you’re not only able to pick up heavy objects but you’re now able to turn into flaming debris of fiery death!

Special Mention: Fire – The Sims

We weren’t sure this fire qualified as a weapon and secondly we were afraid of we actually listed it in our countdown we’d probably end up facing some sort of intervention and several weeks in a comfy jacket in a padded cell. Fire was our weapon of choice when it came to punishing our Sims! Have the entire family enter the living room, remove the door and place an item too close to the fireplace and watch the b*st*rds suffer… it’s the last time Mom and Dad will moan about having to work excruciating hours and the kids complain about the decor! *nervous twitch*

Fire is your best friend…unless of course you’re the victim of it…then it’s bad! Very bad!

Editor-in-Chief, part-time super villain and hoarder of cats. If you can’t find me writing, I’m probably in the kitchen!

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