And we’re into our final week; the home stretch. I can’t give up now. Failure is NOT an option. Here are the latest films from my last few nights of horror watching! I hope they get you into the mood for Halloween.
YOU’RE NEXT
A family reunion is interrupted by masked killers. Expect there to be bloody mayhem.
I didn’t have high expectations for this film. My housemate told me it wasn’t worth my time. But when someone tells you not to do something or go somewhere, a sense of rebellion rises within you. Needless to say, I watched You’re Next. It was worth my time. Well, maybe not all of it. But it definitely had moments. The story is very standard and revolves around a family reunion. The family is wealthy and one of the kids (who is a grown adult) hires ex-marines to murder everyone so they can get the inheritance. But they didn’t expect an ass kicking girlfriend (Sharni Vison) to crash the party and turn the tables. With an awesome retro soundtrack she fortifies the house (Home Alone style) and begins killing the bad guys one by one. We stay with the killers as they are picked off, which is a nice role reversal. Add in some very dark, quirky humour and you have yourself a winner. If you’re in the mood to be entertained, with some bloody murder in the form of a tough female hero, this is right up your alley.
Best Line: “Look… I’m sorry, I didn’t know that. I mean, I knew you guys served together but I didn’t know you were related though. Man, she really fucked him up good, huh?”
Best Moment: Every time Erin kills a bad guy. (She kicks so much ass)
6/10
DEBUG
A group of futuristic hackers board a spacecraft with an artificial intelligence longing to become human. Can they make it off the ship alive?
From David Hewlett (that guy from Cube and Stargate Atlantis) comes his second directorial feature film, Debug. I like Hewlett as an actor, but as a writer and director he has a good deal to learn. Debug is a sloppy clichéd film about an artificial intelligence who purposely disposes of the crew currently occupying his corridors. The synopsis suggests the A.I wants to be human but the film contradicts itself. He never once tries to inherit a human host; he only wishes to destroy the crew. His motives are lacking and he is not very menacing. In fact, he acts like a clown. And dresses like a clown. This was supposed to be a horror film, right? Well, it does have some elements. But they make no sense. At one point a character turns into Sam Neil from Event Horizon. He was pumped full of drugs and we’re made to believe he was manipulated by the A.I to kill. Why couldn’t the A.I do it himself, we were shown previously that he could? Whatever. Debug feels like a cheap Sy-fy straight to TV movie. The pacing is awful and there is little to no tension whatsoever to make us fear for the characters. However, there is potential somewhere amidst the flawed script. A few interesting ideas arise and are given a brief glimpse of existence. But they are quickly extinguished. Just go watch Cube again. That’s such a great movie.
Best Line: “This little piggy went to market…”
Best Moment: Every time Jason Mamoa showed up in his silver suit and highlighted hair. *(Could not take him seriously)
2/10
A TALE OF TWO SISTERS
Two sisters return home with their father and step-mother, after spending time in an institution. But there is something strange going on in the house. Something really strange.
If you want to be terrified this Halloween then watch A Tale of Two Sisters. There were several times I found myself sinking further into the sofa, yet I was unable to pry my eyes away from the television. The atmosphere impressively remains uneasy throughout the movie, making the audience (ME) unnerved in their seats. I was genuinely petrified. This is the ghost story that was missing from my life. Or was it a ghost story? A Tale of Two Sisters is an intriguing movie and it piles on the mysteries from the very start. Something is wrong, very wrong, but you can’t exactly put your finger on it. Everything points to a ghostly presence but the characters act strangely; psychotic almost. Hints and clues are nicely implanted in every scene as the plot is slowly revealed. We are treated to several terrifying moments, almost too tense to bare. They are beat by beat perfect. My heart could hardly take it. At the very end we are finally given an answer to the many questions that arose and it is more horrifying than the chills it previously delivered. A Tale of Two Sisters is a mind bending terror that effectively scares and entertains its audience (ME). Go see this movie now!
Best Line: “There’s something strange in this house.”
Best Moment: Su-mi has a terrifying dream about a ghost approaching her and bleeding from under her dress.
8/10
GINGERDEAD MAN
An insane criminal sentenced to death returns as a gingerbread cookie to exact his revenge.
Want an effective horror film to really give you a fright? Then stay perfectly clear of Gingerdead Man. Where to begin with this dire, dreadful, horrendous movie? As bad films go, this takes the cake. (PUNS!!!) An obvious attempt at a spinoff to the Chucky franchise, Gingerdead Man is a lazy, nonsensical diatribe piece of crap. And the only reason this film didn’t score a perfect zero is because it made me laugh whole-heartily. I was in complete stitches. Every decision made by a character was so incredibly forced I forget for a moment who they were and what purpose they served to the plot. The entire film takes place inside a neat, very small, family owned bakery. How scary is a bakery you ask? It’s not. When the Gingerdead Man escapes its oven our “heroes” run to the front of the shop and are clearly able to escape, yet for some reason they decide to hang around and kill it. The same goes for the killer cookie. He hangs around the bakery to kill the woman who sent him to the chair, but doesn’t consider leaving and plotting her death another day. We later see him in a car. He should have driven away. But the film refuses to listen to logic. I recommend seeing it for its atrociousness. But don’t come blaming me if you do.
Best Line: “If that thing is real, I say we grab that mother fucker and we take it in to Leno, Letterman. How much dough can you make from a talking cookie… heh dough, cookie, get it?”
Best Moment: The Gingerdead Man tries to beat up a rat, for some reason.
1/10
